对吧？

1 个小时前， 情人节刚过了。
2 月出生的我，是浪漫双鱼座。
3 年的情人节都没浪漫，让人不知所错。
40 年左右才一次的年初一情人节，我居然没错过。

不知道从何开始，我很渴望爱情里出现浪漫的情结。
可惜，我慢慢领悟人生总是很难得到渴望的东西。
就因如此，很多东西我都去接受。

我今天不开心吗？我也不懂。
今年的情人节，在大年初一正搞笑。
也许，人生有多无奈的事，人类都会选择接受。
然而，当你遇上这些你没有选择的事时， 难免会些有伤感。
因为如果你有更大的勇气或力量，你是不会希望这样。
对吧？

He is different now

Its 8th of February. Month that i was born. Pieces,represents romance
26th years of my life, i found someone important in my life.

When i was unhappy,he wrote there: regardless how bad is ur temper, i will still love u. I just wants to love you.
When i was away, he wrote there : After we were far apart,i was surprised that..i miss you terribly. He used to be very unpredictable

That day, he hand over a new tooth brush to me, saying that he realized mine was torn out.He was a careless man back there
Some day when i was in really bad mood,he asked " will you be happier with baskin robin ice cream?" i shake my head. he continued " what can make you at least smile?". Words that he hardly speak.He used to ignore
These days, he vacum and mop the floor, clean the kitchen and the toilet. He starts to remember every words of mine.

He wasn't such a lovely and caring guy when i know him but things change.
He is different now.
i am deeply blessed and glad bout all this.
Thank you so much my dear dear

Training from Someone above

its 8pm and i am still in office.
Not that i had many things to do but i just cant go off cause of transportation issue. I am tired of this matter but i cant help.
I feel peace at this moment, perhaps i have accepted the fact.
人不会轻易得到想要的，
因为太容易反而不会珍惜。
人总是会为得不到的而愤怒/不开心，
其实它是希望我们会懂得去接受
接受你现在眼前拥有的，身边存在的。
不然，很容易错失
可是，这世界太多贪念．
有多少人，真的能停下看看身边的一些？
我相信有，不过稀有．　

That's just something that i have to take it

Moving to new team, finally had a chance to take year end leave and CNY leave. Who knows boss just change his management saying people who have kids has the priority during school holidays. This has just freaks me off. Jumping out from previous team because of all this ridiculous rules. End up face the same path.

Is that just life? I often cant get what i want and i just have to force myself to adapt what is given and what is in front. That's just so heart breaking when things just keep repeating and i had to adjust myself to accept and adapt to unwanted desire and things again and again.

When i was 12, i told myself that all the hard life i face now will have and edge of it. Life will get better when i graduate from highschool cause i will get my freedom.

When i turn into my Uni, i met my first love life and i suffer in it. Well, that's really an unexpected path. I thought that i will be studying abroad like my siblings. Something that i have been awaiting so much but it turn out to be a disappointment Uni and love life.

When i started to work, its even more dramatic.

All i can see is, someone just has to force us to learn how to adapt. At one point you may tot you have actually pass your examination but its actually One down , more to come.

It has been quite sometime

Cant remember that how long haven had the time to sit down comfortably and rest with peace of mind. It has been really hectic of life. Recently had really bad dreams at night, waking up feeling fatique. That's really oweful.
Trying to recall of the dream but cant really remember what i had in it. Just leaving tones of odd feelings that makes my emotion fluctuate.
It should be something like a story of both lovers, women that fall in love with a man that is not that into it. I think i was in that women's situation when i dreamt of this love story and the disappointment feeling left in my body when i woke up.
The feeling of couldnt reach a level of understanding between lovers, bad treatment from friends, unhappy childhood and family hood.
Well.. hoping to pull it off at times.. i guess it takes time.
I think it has been quite sometime that i didnt really rest myself. I am drained out and totally souless.

Its the beginning of 2010, and i cant remember when was the last time i lie on my bed resting with hassel free.
It has been quite sometime that i didnt had a real conversation with my closest one.
It has really been quiet sometime that i didnt really had a chance to sleep well.
and lastly, i guess
it has been quite sometime that i have lost myself. . .

Something comfortable

looking at the christmas reddish flower and the purplish forget me not flower on my desk makes my sight comfortable today.
Listening to light and relaxing songs from David Archuleta, Tom Baxter makes me emotionally calm.
I suppose there will be lots of things could pull a person down in a day.
The matter of how you get yourself out of it, its pretty much depends on yourself..whether you want to do it or not.
Try to pull yourself out of current situation for sometime could help you gain some different tots. It may help you in your difficulties sometimes.

Carless, Speechless and Pointless

K i lead a life without a car in a BEAUTIFUL country that has the worst public transport facilities.dont ever think of the FANTASTIC taxi cause it has also the highest rape case from taxi driver in this country.-->Carless
Then i had the most FABULOUS mind own business S******* in the world that no one had ever had. Its raining and i have to get my ****i** ways back home.Even though this HANDSOME is going back to the same way-->Speechless
I am nothing but FANTABULOUSLY kind of pissed. no i am not pissed, i am just EXTREMELY stress, tired, exhausted, drained out on selfish and money minded humanity because they just cant realise that they cant bring the useless money into their grave.---->Pointless

Country... Family... Life....

I had no idea what is all this for.. people in this world.. did you just work for money and you let the money get over your brain till you forgot what is the most important thing in life?
Have they ever try to GO BACK TO BASIC?
means.. back to the days where we had no fashionable cloths, no world class food, none of all those luxurious items that you wanting now? ARE YOU DEAd BACK THERE?
No! you are still alive.. but why you seems like dying without all those? why people are struggling without money?you forgotten that what's most important is not money.. is YOU and your FAMILY or FRIENDS...

Human.. just cant accept the changes that has vastly bring them down from the highest pit. Why not just try to flash back some of the days, back to the basic from where you came from.Since you can come from 0 to something then what's so hard for you back from Something to Nothing. Just a few alphabetically difference.

alright i just have to admit this is a place for me to throw all the shitty things of my days.