Changes

Lunch gang is getting lesser and lesser people.
Everyone doesn't like the situation with their own team.
One by one is leaving, remaining 4 people but soon they will go as well.
Felt weird as changes is happening. Not sure how to adapt myself to it but I guess this is something I have to face in life.
Maybe I just missed the days where all of us is laughing and joking during our lunch.
Still remember when I was in my previous team, always longing for lunch time caused that will really give me a break and make me laugh no matter how hard and unhappy I am in my job.
All of them is really funny people.
Things change, though I wish it wouldn’t but I cant control. Everyone is moving on.
2 of them told me that they regret to leave but they have no choice because need to move on for new things and for better future. They have chosen the path and they have to adapt it no matter what.
I understand everything very well but my heart feels weird. I guess this is normal, everything takes time to be normalized.
Hope all of them the best in future. Missed the happy days.
i guess i am lucky to have such a good memory.
Life goes on. Everyone does that.

他们

那天听了一个他的故事。
他们7年自豪的感情，在结婚前3个星期做了一个令我预想不到的决定。
两年前，她因为工作必须留在别的州， 因此他们之间开始有距离。
他因为工作忙碌很少与她沟通，因此他们之间少了了解。
她在外地感到寂寞和苦闷，没人诉苦谈天可是她没告诉他。
他因为繁忙没告诉她工作预见的辛苦， 他们俩就因这样产生了问题可是并没察觉。
结婚前半年，他发现她有了另一个他。令他非常失落，他觉得很痛苦毕竟那是他们7 年的感情。他们终于讨论之间的问题。结果，她对他承诺不会再发生，而他决定原谅她。事情原以为已过一段落，可是结婚前3个星期他发现她偷偷的买了另一个电话与另一个他联络。当时的他脑袋一片空。请帖已分好了，酒席已经订好了，婚纱照也拍了。他们第二次讨论感情问题。他要她做出最后决定，两者间只能选其一。她让他知道她很想与他在一起，也让他知道为什么会发生这样的事。
他觉得他也有责任因为没有沟通，没让她了解他。他后悔以前没把心里话告诉她，让她觉得迷惑和空虚。大家把东西放在心底藏着才造成这样的局面。
当时的他觉得没有选择，因为婚礼已经落成了，他觉得他不年轻了，他觉得他很爱她不能没有她虽然她让他的心很疼。
就这样，他又选择与她继续下去。他们结婚了，她刚有了孩子。他说他现在很幸福， 没有后悔当初的决定可是伤痕永远都在。只要他想到他还会觉得痛， 他说裂缝永远都不会恢复。他永远都原谅不到她对他的欺骗与伤害。
男人总是把想法与心底话藏的很密，女人希望了解他时会觉得不知所措。
女人与他分享所有的东西时男人觉得反感，当女人不再告诉他而彼此的0沟通爆发种种问题时男人也许会醒觉沟通的重要可是会不会到无法挽回的地步没人能控制。男人的沉默女人觉得难以触摸， 久而久之女人会因此失去心中的归属感。
虽然听了会觉得，一段看起来很幸福美满的婚姻背后好像隐藏着一点破缝可是美中不足有时也有它的意义。
如果，她不让他痛他不会醒觉， 而她如果不反错就不会因内疚而清醒。
也许裂缝永远存在，可是如果把它看成彼此之间的Alert也不是件坏事。
人永远在变，变化如何由谁能定夺。

Alive!!

Yeah, i am still alive...
almost dead from the fever.. god knows what happen to me.
Getting sick once a month? due to the place i stay? some sort of bacteria caused?
i hope its not due to rat's ... gosh.. that vaccine only available in Korea..
i am hating myself. didnt i? forget bout it..
Many things have planned ahead.. and got canceled with slight unwillingness but many plans came up suddenly.. who knows.. what is going to happen the next moment..
He came to me and said " Hey are you alright? you have been very sick recently? you should go and consult doctor for a detailed check up. Please take care of your health its very important"
out of sudden, i felt that he is a caring person. Anyway.. though i didnt drink the tea he prepared for me, i didnt take the breakfast he prepared for me, i didnt read the health book that he offered me and i didnt look at him when i pass by but wish to say thank you to you HERE.. wahahahah which i dont think he would ever see this. It sounds bad but i knew that i am right not to giving him empty hope. Take it easy la.. She closed the heart's door due to him. What for you treat her so well where you not going to gain anything in the end? No trust but lust, no gain but pain.
i have plenty of plans up coming.. Weekend to Umaiya with Laypeng, i guess this is my 6th time to Umaiya buffet in this year.. is it? no.. anyway.. its the 6th or 7th time to this restaurant. Then Monday will have a gathering with Creden's friend. Tuesday got buffet in Jogoya with family. 20th of June going to genting with Scope colleagues. 19th of July going to Cameron with friends.
i doubt that my body can take it. Can i? no idea..

Breathless

6.05pm.. now i wonder why people said sometimes youfelt that minutes is passing like years.
i am so sick.. i wish to go back.. but off work at 6.30pm
He is so imature keep sending sms and nagging me to get down early.
i wish to go if i could.. its just so helpless when you are so sick and weak.. someone still gaves you pressure and so not understanding.
i am very weak now.. sick.. body ache..
please let me know what happen to me..
wishing someone ... someone.. can ...

He and She, 她与他

　　　“我啊，一个人又要做工看店又要看孩子，我真得不懂我是那么的厉害。他只会和朋友喝茶谈天打牌什么都不管”。她的嘴里总是露出很多抱怨，每次都会把多年前的事情办出来告诉身边的人她坎坷的人生。而他，也许因为老了，很少说话。　很多时候都很沉默，也没了以前的坏习惯。不打牌，少骂人反而多了一些不同的爱好；　比如说喜欢自己在厕所拿着镜子剪头发，与朋友玩中国棋。
　　　最近他们又闹哄了，两人没吵架可是也没谈天，葚之要其他人帮他们传话。她说“我怎么懂他，他先不和我说话我为什么要睬他”。孩子小的时候，他们三天一吵两天一骂所以童年的画面很深重。她嘴里从来没有突出对他满意的事情,而他却很少像她那样说以前.
他们曾经很有钱可是后来他因为生意失败而破产.他们常因钱吵架,她说" 我都不懂为什么会有人像他那样,那么容易信任别人". 他虽然破产可是还有办法把3个孩子送出国读书而她也有机会在英国参加女儿的毕业典礼.
孩子大了,经济可让她到处旅行而他因为还背着破产令10多年来也没旅行. 他每天都载女儿上班,载儿子上下学.这么多年来, 风雨不改也没什么埋怨. 她时常与友人出外唱歌聚会,他大多数在家看报纸. 可是,她嘴里还是不停的说" 当年我真命苦, 又要裁缝又要看孩子日子过的真酸."
他富有的时候不会吝啬家人,现在没有工作所以靠的是孩子的家用.她多年来都掌控着孩子给的钱, 每个月给点他.可是,这也没办法令她改变因为嘴里依然有当年的哭诉和不满.尖酸的话依然很多.
希望她能了解过去的没人能改变,以后的没人能掌握,现在应该可以做的应该是珍惜吧?上一代爷爷和奶奶,把仇恨与悲伤带进泥土, 希望这一代别跟随可是能吗?他曾经很大男人,太少关心家人可是老了也有改变,而她手里握着的杯从未放下过.
他与她就是我爸和我妈.. . . .

Aiks

ｉ　ｍａｄｅ　ａ　ｍｉｓｔａｋｅ　ｔｏｄａｙ．　Ｉ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｈａｖｅ　ａｓｋ　ｄａｄ　ｔｏ　ｄｒｏｐ　ｏｆｆ　ｍｙ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｂｒｏｔｈｅｒ　ｆｉｒｓｔ　ｉｎｓｔｅａｄ　ｏｆ　ｌｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｍｅ　ｏｆｆ　ｔｏ　ｏｆｆｉｃｅ　ｆｉｒｓｔ．　Ｉ　ｒｅａｃｈｅｄ　ｅａｒｌｙ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｕｓｅｒ　ｃａｍｅ　ｉｎ　ａｔ　９．３０ａｍ．　ｉ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄｎｔ　ｍａｋｅ　ｈｉｍ　ｓｏ　ｒｕｓｈ．　Ｓｉｇｈ　ｓｔｕｐｉｄ　ｍｅ．．．　ｂｅｃｏｚ　ｏｆ　选择性错折症。ｉ　ｋｅｅｐ　ｔｈｉｎｋｉｎｇ　ｏｆ　ｗｈａｔ　ｔｏ　ｄｏ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｃａｒ　ａｎｄ　ｗｏｒｒｉｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｕｓｅｒ　ａｎｄ　ａｌｓｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｔｕｐｉｄ　ｍａｎａｇｅｍｅｎｔ　ｐｅｏｐｌｅ．　Ｗｅｌｌ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｌａｓｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｉ　ｇｕｅｓｓ．　Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｃｈａｎｇｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｎｅｗ　ｅｎｖｉｒｏｎｍｅｎｔ　ａｎｄ　ｎｅｗ　ｔｅａｍ．　Ｆｌｅｘｉｂｌｅ　ｗｏｒｋｉｎｇ　ｈｏｕｒ　ａｎｄ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｆｒｅｅｄｏｍ　ｉｎ　ｍａｔｕｒｉｔｙ．　Ｓｏｒｒｙ　ｄａｄ　ａｎｄ　ｂｒｏｔｈｅｒ．．　ｙｏｕ　ｇｕｙｓ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｂｅ　ｍｙ　ｆｉｒｓｔ　ｐｒｉｏｒｉｔｙ　ｎｅｘｔ　ｔｉｍｅ．　

勇敢活下去

一波未平一波又起。总是有很多事真的不知应怎么办。
她终于生了孩子，这孩子她等了很久也试了很多方法。好可惜，她与家婆关系不好导致家婆不愿意帮她照顾刚出生的婴儿。 她以为妈妈会帮她，以为妈妈一定会体谅。可是，妈妈吐出不愿意的念头。妈妈的原因居然是她不想被绑着，照顾哥哥的孩子已经觉得没自由所以她不想再多照顾一个。现在的心情很酸， 不知道是因为担心她的孩子还是觉得 妈妈那样对她而觉得失望。 希望不要恢复以前那样没和气与冷淡。 这几天，妈妈不断在找出那孩子有多难带的地方， 不断的在怨。唉，这就是人类的自私吗？当你不愿做一件事，你会千方百计的找出可以拒绝的理由。还是她不懂得自足常乐。 她去过很多国家，曾经很富有， 可是她还是很多埋怨。有谁可以改变她呢? 改变她又会有什么结果？但是，她的埋怨和思想会影响身旁的人。不管我有多么的心烦和不悦，我也没办法该变。不是我不愿去尝试，而是我清楚的知道我在家中的地位就如人类与狗。我喊，也许有人听到可是有没有人去注意我想传达的讯息是一回事，又有没有人去用心去了解也是另一回事。 如果你的狗，你不去用心去听或了解他表达的讯息你是不会懂它的反应代表什么。我拿狗来形容自己应该很废吧。我也这样觉得。哈哈哈哈哈
祝她与她的孩子平安快乐，居然与那婴儿那么艰辛才相遇就别放弃，只要勇敢活下去什么问题都不是问题。加油！