Training from Someone above

its 8pm and i am still in office.
Not that i had many things to do but i just cant go off cause of transportation issue. I am tired of this matter but i cant help.
I feel peace at this moment, perhaps i have accepted the fact.
人不会轻易得到想要的，
因为太容易反而不会珍惜。
人总是会为得不到的而愤怒/不开心，
其实它是希望我们会懂得去接受
接受你现在眼前拥有的，身边存在的。
不然，很容易错失
可是，这世界太多贪念．
有多少人，真的能停下看看身边的一些？
我相信有，不过稀有．　

That's just something that i have to take it

Moving to new team, finally had a chance to take year end leave and CNY leave. Who knows boss just change his management saying people who have kids has the priority during school holidays. This has just freaks me off. Jumping out from previous team because of all this ridiculous rules. End up face the same path.

Is that just life? I often cant get what i want and i just have to force myself to adapt what is given and what is in front. That's just so heart breaking when things just keep repeating and i had to adjust myself to accept and adapt to unwanted desire and things again and again.

When i was 12, i told myself that all the hard life i face now will have and edge of it. Life will get better when i graduate from highschool cause i will get my freedom.

When i turn into my Uni, i met my first love life and i suffer in it. Well, that's really an unexpected path. I thought that i will be studying abroad like my siblings. Something that i have been awaiting so much but it turn out to be a disappointment Uni and love life.

When i started to work, its even more dramatic.

All i can see is, someone just has to force us to learn how to adapt. At one point you may tot you have actually pass your examination but its actually One down , more to come.

It has been quite sometime

Cant remember that how long haven had the time to sit down comfortably and rest with peace of mind. It has been really hectic of life. Recently had really bad dreams at night, waking up feeling fatique. That's really oweful.
Trying to recall of the dream but cant really remember what i had in it. Just leaving tones of odd feelings that makes my emotion fluctuate.
It should be something like a story of both lovers, women that fall in love with a man that is not that into it. I think i was in that women's situation when i dreamt of this love story and the disappointment feeling left in my body when i woke up.
The feeling of couldnt reach a level of understanding between lovers, bad treatment from friends, unhappy childhood and family hood.
Well.. hoping to pull it off at times.. i guess it takes time.
I think it has been quite sometime that i didnt really rest myself. I am drained out and totally souless.

Its the beginning of 2010, and i cant remember when was the last time i lie on my bed resting with hassel free.
It has been quite sometime that i didnt had a real conversation with my closest one.
It has really been quiet sometime that i didnt really had a chance to sleep well.
and lastly, i guess
it has been quite sometime that i have lost myself. . .

Something comfortable

looking at the christmas reddish flower and the purplish forget me not flower on my desk makes my sight comfortable today.
Listening to light and relaxing songs from David Archuleta, Tom Baxter makes me emotionally calm.
I suppose there will be lots of things could pull a person down in a day.
The matter of how you get yourself out of it, its pretty much depends on yourself..whether you want to do it or not.
Try to pull yourself out of current situation for sometime could help you gain some different tots. It may help you in your difficulties sometimes.

Carless, Speechless and Pointless

K i lead a life without a car in a BEAUTIFUL country that has the worst public transport facilities.dont ever think of the FANTASTIC taxi cause it has also the highest rape case from taxi driver in this country.-->Carless
Then i had the most FABULOUS mind own business S******* in the world that no one had ever had. Its raining and i have to get my ****i** ways back home.Even though this HANDSOME is going back to the same way-->Speechless
I am nothing but FANTABULOUSLY kind of pissed. no i am not pissed, i am just EXTREMELY stress, tired, exhausted, drained out on selfish and money minded humanity because they just cant realise that they cant bring the useless money into their grave.---->Pointless

Country... Family... Life....

I had no idea what is all this for.. people in this world.. did you just work for money and you let the money get over your brain till you forgot what is the most important thing in life?
Have they ever try to GO BACK TO BASIC?
means.. back to the days where we had no fashionable cloths, no world class food, none of all those luxurious items that you wanting now? ARE YOU DEAd BACK THERE?
No! you are still alive.. but why you seems like dying without all those? why people are struggling without money?you forgotten that what's most important is not money.. is YOU and your FAMILY or FRIENDS...

Human.. just cant accept the changes that has vastly bring them down from the highest pit. Why not just try to flash back some of the days, back to the basic from where you came from.Since you can come from 0 to something then what's so hard for you back from Something to Nothing. Just a few alphabetically difference.

alright i just have to admit this is a place for me to throw all the shitty things of my days.

真心话

有时候会不会觉得做人什艰难？在公司，你不能说真心话因为同事大多数都多心的。他们最喜欢去猜测和猜疑你想什么，你做的是什么用意。往往会造成讲者无意听者有心。尤其是在lunch time时，A会说“呢，头先她说XXXXXX"， B答“又怎样?"A回“就证明他XXXXX".这个时候，头脑缺乏氧气的人就会脑神经不发达相信和同意。跟着就会答：“是哦！ 又好像是噢”。并没有想过他们所谓的证明，是真实的还是他们猜疑的？但是，如果你脑部有充分的氧气可是太多安多份因此很直接的否决了他的判断时，他们就会怀疑你是不是有别的原因。有时是不是很想站在中间，说句真心话？但是换来的只会是负面的回应。其实，我是很想告诉他们你不累吗？你总是在猜疑别人，你觉得这样做人开心吗？

就算是朋友，也未必肯听更和况是同事。有没有试过朋友找你诉苦时，他讲完后你想安慰她，开解他时你并不敢把心里的话讲出来？因为你我都知真心话是不好听，　而且不是每个人都想听。也或许你我都知，当一个人已经先入为主，他的脑已经自己的想法外人是很难改变。就算听了，他会不会去消化也是另一回事。反而有时候，向你诉苦的人很介意你怎样看他所以他的反应会更加激烈。我很想告诉她们，难道你不清醒的时候你不希望有人能敲一敲你？还是你觉得让你继续你的一套会开心？我不懂有没有十全十美的人，但是我想有缺陷就会有缺陷美，人活着就是要努力学习很多不同的东西包括接受周围的改变或则必须时改变自己。
山不转你就人转吧！
有时自我检讨也许可以得到某些启发，
有时听人意见也可以让自己看远一点，
还没想就拒绝就等于你还没吃那碗面就催眠自己那是粪。

我不否决如果坚持某些乐观的东西，因为有时候执着自己的理想才会经历不同的困难去丰富自己的人生。那时，就算他人不能接受你也得放开些。说到底，一个人不喜欢你还有千千万万个人没讨厌你。You cant please everyone.
这点我也是从别人身上学的。

Dizzy

Very dizzy.. i wanted to go home.. but i cant.. i need to work..
i wanted to try staying at work at least one week.. not having any problem..
but why am i always having so many issue on my health.. i am already very health concious..
Dad is not free to fetch me.. i have to wait for my brother till very late hour... i wish to ask dear dear.. but i dont wan to disturb..
words seems cant describe how uncomfortable i am now..
my head.. its very uncomfortable.. i seems like wanting to vomit
i close my eyes.. i cant fall asleep.. i just can feel that its so dizzy..
Worry of myself. .. god please.. i have too many things wish to do in my life and i have no chance to achieve it yet.. i wanted to go japan.. its my dream place.. i wanted to get marry and have my own house and family.. i want my own child.. i wan to be with my love one till my hair grow grey..
what is going on with me..