Changes

Lunch gang is getting lesser and lesser people.
Everyone doesn't like the situation with their own team.
One by one is leaving, remaining 4 people but soon they will go as well.
Felt weird as changes is happening. Not sure how to adapt myself to it but I guess this is something I have to face in life.
Maybe I just missed the days where all of us is laughing and joking during our lunch.
Still remember when I was in my previous team, always longing for lunch time caused that will really give me a break and make me laugh no matter how hard and unhappy I am in my job.
All of them is really funny people.
Things change, though I wish it wouldn’t but I cant control. Everyone is moving on.
2 of them told me that they regret to leave but they have no choice because need to move on for new things and for better future. They have chosen the path and they have to adapt it no matter what.
I understand everything very well but my heart feels weird. I guess this is normal, everything takes time to be normalized.
Hope all of them the best in future. Missed the happy days.
i guess i am lucky to have such a good memory.
Life goes on. Everyone does that.

他们

那天听了一个他的故事。
他们7年自豪的感情，在结婚前3个星期做了一个令我预想不到的决定。
两年前，她因为工作必须留在别的州， 因此他们之间开始有距离。
他因为工作忙碌很少与她沟通，因此他们之间少了了解。
她在外地感到寂寞和苦闷，没人诉苦谈天可是她没告诉他。
他因为繁忙没告诉她工作预见的辛苦， 他们俩就因这样产生了问题可是并没察觉。
结婚前半年，他发现她有了另一个他。令他非常失落，他觉得很痛苦毕竟那是他们7 年的感情。他们终于讨论之间的问题。结果，她对他承诺不会再发生，而他决定原谅她。事情原以为已过一段落，可是结婚前3个星期他发现她偷偷的买了另一个电话与另一个他联络。当时的他脑袋一片空。请帖已分好了，酒席已经订好了，婚纱照也拍了。他们第二次讨论感情问题。他要她做出最后决定，两者间只能选其一。她让他知道她很想与他在一起，也让他知道为什么会发生这样的事。
他觉得他也有责任因为没有沟通，没让她了解他。他后悔以前没把心里话告诉她，让她觉得迷惑和空虚。大家把东西放在心底藏着才造成这样的局面。
当时的他觉得没有选择，因为婚礼已经落成了，他觉得他不年轻了，他觉得他很爱她不能没有她虽然她让他的心很疼。
就这样，他又选择与她继续下去。他们结婚了，她刚有了孩子。他说他现在很幸福， 没有后悔当初的决定可是伤痕永远都在。只要他想到他还会觉得痛， 他说裂缝永远都不会恢复。他永远都原谅不到她对他的欺骗与伤害。
男人总是把想法与心底话藏的很密，女人希望了解他时会觉得不知所措。
女人与他分享所有的东西时男人觉得反感，当女人不再告诉他而彼此的0沟通爆发种种问题时男人也许会醒觉沟通的重要可是会不会到无法挽回的地步没人能控制。男人的沉默女人觉得难以触摸， 久而久之女人会因此失去心中的归属感。
虽然听了会觉得，一段看起来很幸福美满的婚姻背后好像隐藏着一点破缝可是美中不足有时也有它的意义。
如果，她不让他痛他不会醒觉， 而她如果不反错就不会因内疚而清醒。
也许裂缝永远存在，可是如果把它看成彼此之间的Alert也不是件坏事。
人永远在变，变化如何由谁能定夺。

Alive!!

Yeah, i am still alive...
almost dead from the fever.. god knows what happen to me.
Getting sick once a month? due to the place i stay? some sort of bacteria caused?
i hope its not due to rat's ... gosh.. that vaccine only available in Korea..
i am hating myself. didnt i? forget bout it..
Many things have planned ahead.. and got canceled with slight unwillingness but many plans came up suddenly.. who knows.. what is going to happen the next moment..
He came to me and said " Hey are you alright? you have been very sick recently? you should go and consult doctor for a detailed check up. Please take care of your health its very important"
out of sudden, i felt that he is a caring person. Anyway.. though i didnt drink the tea he prepared for me, i didnt take the breakfast he prepared for me, i didnt read the health book that he offered me and i didnt look at him when i pass by but wish to say thank you to you HERE.. wahahahah which i dont think he would ever see this. It sounds bad but i knew that i am right not to giving him empty hope. Take it easy la.. She closed the heart's door due to him. What for you treat her so well where you not going to gain anything in the end? No trust but lust, no gain but pain.
i have plenty of plans up coming.. Weekend to Umaiya with Laypeng, i guess this is my 6th time to Umaiya buffet in this year.. is it? no.. anyway.. its the 6th or 7th time to this restaurant. Then Monday will have a gathering with Creden's friend. Tuesday got buffet in Jogoya with family. 20th of June going to genting with Scope colleagues. 19th of July going to Cameron with friends.
i doubt that my body can take it. Can i? no idea..

Breathless

6.05pm.. now i wonder why people said sometimes youfelt that minutes is passing like years.
i am so sick.. i wish to go back.. but off work at 6.30pm
He is so imature keep sending sms and nagging me to get down early.
i wish to go if i could.. its just so helpless when you are so sick and weak.. someone still gaves you pressure and so not understanding.
i am very weak now.. sick.. body ache..
please let me know what happen to me..
wishing someone ... someone.. can ...