Dizzy

Very dizzy.. i wanted to go home.. but i cant.. i need to work..
i wanted to try staying at work at least one week.. not having any problem..
but why am i always having so many issue on my health.. i am already very health concious..
Dad is not free to fetch me.. i have to wait for my brother till very late hour... i wish to ask dear dear.. but i dont wan to disturb..
words seems cant describe how uncomfortable i am now..
my head.. its very uncomfortable.. i seems like wanting to vomit
i close my eyes.. i cant fall asleep.. i just can feel that its so dizzy..
Worry of myself. .. god please.. i have too many things wish to do in my life and i have no chance to achieve it yet.. i wanted to go japan.. its my dream place.. i wanted to get marry and have my own house and family.. i want my own child.. i wan to be with my love one till my hair grow grey..
what is going on with me..

Missed it

Aiks, felt slightly uncomfortable cause i missed the designing chance.
something that i wish to do but i missed the chance.
its so hard to describe the feelings of disappointment.
what can i do? though is unhappy but i am surely that i need to force myself to let go the glass from my hand or else its gonna stress me up.
its really .......

New from 0

new from 0Routers, IOS switch, DAPC, UPSi have no idea what is all this about. i have heard of the terms somewhere some how but i have no idea how it works. no one teach me, no one is going to spoon mouth me and what i can do is google and wikipedia. start to learn everything new from 0 by myself. it like you are starting your college life all over again. there is certain difficulties as no one understand and know what am i doing, they dont know what is my pressure.they dont know i am doing something that i have not learn and have no knowledge to it at all. forget bout it, i guess this is normal because people always sees things from the appearance only. to some people first impression determines their perception towards a person and same concept applys to what they sees when you are doing something that already gives them a perception. Even though they only see as an outsider and not the one that knows everything from head to toe then they already gives the judgement to it. Try tell others bout this , you will get such reply as.. " well , its commond what, isnt?". It sounds so frustrated that people just dont understand. In fact, what can you do?trying to change how other think? its hard but possible. Many people just got many emotion problem like depression and mental issue when they just cant figure out a way.I choose a better way,山不转就人转吧. Instead of wanting them not to think that way, i choose to concentrate on what i think i have or i should do right now. Ignoring other's is not easy but its not a bad option. Of coz, i cant do that in one day. Obviously, it has been struggling for sometime to figure out this conclusion. i might fail this mission anytime but i guess i have to fill my time fully. I can see that my boss sees me as a Network Idiot. Thanks god！！！！
I am learning.. learning hard in every single thing in my life... i have nothing special.. i am a not a soft gal, i talk loud and sometimes i am stupid in controling my emotion but what i have is i am just willing to learn. nothing more than that..

算了

她说她尝试告诉他，她的想法。很傻吧！都是过千百次，结果都是一样。这个男人根本就不管人家的感受，她又为什么一次又一次的去告诉他呢。得来的就只有失望的答案因为在他的眼中女人应该通情达理，不应该多多要求。其实，他只不过是不像在朋友面前出丑所以他根本不觉得他有不对的地方。就算他答应她，在他心里是“有又怎样？ ”。为什么，女朋友生病不重要。为什么不能让她觉得你在乎。为什么不能告诉朋友现在就走，你女朋友不再你朋友面前发难你不觉得她已经让步了吗？你懂吗？你有看到吗？她不舒服也迁就你，可是你却给的反应是如此的无奈。让人觉得失望。

她在想这些话是应该很激动吧，说真的她又能控制什么？就算他真的做事不顾她的感受，她又能怎样?这世界很多人应该都是这样的吧，而你都能接受。她不能接受他一次又一次的做了不顾她感受的时，很多东西都能让除了关于另一个女人的事才会令你根根于怀。
我们能做的又有多少？很多时候，没经历过时不会明白。他不明白爱人做了不顾感受的事是什么感受， 应该是因为他没试过八。
洋葱皮一层一层的撕，到肉时应该会让人难受。可是，不尝试过的人不会懂为什么一个普通的葱会让人自动流泪。

好难忍

今天， 又有故事了。
她真的无言，很不舒服可是也很失望。
身体不舒服是最弱的时候也是最需要关心的时候。
这时候如果还要因为他的不细心而忍让，真的很无言
女人很简单， 不舒服也很温柔的告诉他希望早点回家看医生。 其实，已经提示需要关心。
他却朋友的一句话，把不舒服的你放在最后。就算约定好早回也当没件事，先送朋友才载你去看医生。也没想看你明早要做工， 她觉得不被重视也不觉得他尊重你，答应了的事没做到。
很失望，不知失望变绝望会是怎样？ 应该好好地谈？
曾经式过用email, 当普通谈天的方式，凶方式，哭的方式，冷战的方式。又如何？
开始的太快，他从没让她觉得被assure 因为每次吵架时她想尽办法与他沟通。也试过气他说分手，换来的回答就只有一句“不合就分吧”。
人没有100分，感情也没有十全十美。事情发生时为什么不尝试解决或选择互相忍让好好地谈？
一句不合就分吧，让她觉得更无奈。 感情不是普通的游戏，就算凡事不用Extreme可是感情并不是你说合就一起， 不合就分手那么轻易。很多东西需要经历过才能达到共识，也许她只是希望被肯定。