Training from Someone above

its 8pm and i am still in office.
Not that i had many things to do but i just cant go off cause of transportation issue. I am tired of this matter but i cant help.
I feel peace at this moment, perhaps i have accepted the fact.
人不会轻易得到想要的，
因为太容易反而不会珍惜。
人总是会为得不到的而愤怒/不开心，
其实它是希望我们会懂得去接受
接受你现在眼前拥有的，身边存在的。
不然，很容易错失
可是，这世界太多贪念．
有多少人，真的能停下看看身边的一些？
我相信有，不过稀有．　

That's just something that i have to take it

Moving to new team, finally had a chance to take year end leave and CNY leave. Who knows boss just change his management saying people who have kids has the priority during school holidays. This has just freaks me off. Jumping out from previous team because of all this ridiculous rules. End up face the same path.

Is that just life? I often cant get what i want and i just have to force myself to adapt what is given and what is in front. That's just so heart breaking when things just keep repeating and i had to adjust myself to accept and adapt to unwanted desire and things again and again.

When i was 12, i told myself that all the hard life i face now will have and edge of it. Life will get better when i graduate from highschool cause i will get my freedom.

When i turn into my Uni, i met my first love life and i suffer in it. Well, that's really an unexpected path. I thought that i will be studying abroad like my siblings. Something that i have been awaiting so much but it turn out to be a disappointment Uni and love life.

When i started to work, its even more dramatic.

All i can see is, someone just has to force us to learn how to adapt. At one point you may tot you have actually pass your examination but its actually One down , more to come.

It has been quite sometime

Cant remember that how long haven had the time to sit down comfortably and rest with peace of mind. It has been really hectic of life. Recently had really bad dreams at night, waking up feeling fatique. That's really oweful.
Trying to recall of the dream but cant really remember what i had in it. Just leaving tones of odd feelings that makes my emotion fluctuate.
It should be something like a story of both lovers, women that fall in love with a man that is not that into it. I think i was in that women's situation when i dreamt of this love story and the disappointment feeling left in my body when i woke up.
The feeling of couldnt reach a level of understanding between lovers, bad treatment from friends, unhappy childhood and family hood.
Well.. hoping to pull it off at times.. i guess it takes time.
I think it has been quite sometime that i didnt really rest myself. I am drained out and totally souless.

Its the beginning of 2010, and i cant remember when was the last time i lie on my bed resting with hassel free.
It has been quite sometime that i didnt had a real conversation with my closest one.
It has really been quiet sometime that i didnt really had a chance to sleep well.
and lastly, i guess
it has been quite sometime that i have lost myself. . .